Birth orders

After reading an article about birth orders, it made me wonder a little bit if indeed it is true. (read here for the full article http://lifestyle.msn.com/familyandparenting/raisingkids/articleab.aspx?cp-documentid=2135338 ) Though all my three kids display characteristic of each traits, I can’t help wonder if uniqueness is defined by how much I allow them to get away with. For example, I used to think my middle child Patrick during the day time is the sweetest, well mannered child and than turns into a demon when my husband gets home. But actually he is still sweet and well mannered it’s just my attention has changed because by the time my oldest son and husband gets home I’m split in four different directions. Once he notices that I’m distracted is when he’ll start acting up more. But do you really blame him. When I started joining a mothers group, I was scared at first what my kids will behave like. Since joining I’ve gone out a couple of times with other moms and Patrick (my middle child) display characteristics of the first born because I allow him to take that role as my helper. I see more and more of how much he wants to learn but for him the world is just so big and the possibility of doing something bad is that much more tempting. My oldest son does display more of the characteristics of the first born. But when he is with other kids, he is free to run, jump and just be a kid. It’s when I start to expect his behavior to be in line with mine, is when I start to second guess myself. So the biggest challenge is scheduling time for each of them and to take little moments for what it is. Luckily my youngest child is still on a napping schedule during the day time which allows me to dedicate that time for Patrick while Kohl is at school. Isabella gets the morning and Kohl gets the evening.

What I took away from the article is that my outlook is different per child and their personalities is not so much shaped by the birth orders, but the priorities that we give each child. The article is a good reference but I truly think what we teach our kids is what will guide them into shaping their own life.

The Meaning of Thanksgiving

With a blank stare in the mirror while brushing my teeth, I was thinking about one of my son's homework regarding Thanksgiving. Not sure why I was thinking about it now, perhaps it is the constant bombardment of the doom and gloom stories that is always on the news or perhaps this time of the year great American traditions such as; Thanksgiving, Christmas, football games, God etc… comes under attack.

Anyway, his assignment was to write about Thanksgiving and what you like most about it. So, my husband and I said it is a time of giving thanks and told him the history of thanksgiving. Of course blue berry pie was his favorite…. And it made me think of what do I give thanks the most to? The first thing that jumped to mind was how lucky and fortunate my family and I are to live in this great country. Though it is flawed and not perfect, this is one of few countries that allow its own citizen to make changes and speak their mind.

I started to reflect on my history of coming to America. From the death of my birthmother, to the struggles of fleeing a communist country and finally assimilating to the American way of life. There were many times I could have gone down the road of self pittty or hopelessness but luckily I was given a second family with a wonderful mother. Though she is not my biological mother, she is much my blood as I am hers. She taught me that tough is defined by the amount of effort you put into something.

Since America is not my first home country, as a child I would always feel guilty of not truly being a citizen and would cross my fingers when saying the pledge of allegiances. Not sure why I did it, perhaps it was the fear of communism, and in my adolescent mind I did not want to get into trouble just incase I was taken away. So growing up the concept of what a citizen is grew heavily on my mind. Is it a piece of paper or something more?

It was not until my first son was born I truly understood the concept of what a citizen is. It's not just a documentation giving you certain privileges but what it means in your heart and way of life. It is the deep respect of our history and the diversity of many cultures that is blended into one melting pot. For me that one melting pot is our language, our faith in God (which ever God you believe in) and willingness to fight for freedom.

However there are a lot of people out there for some reason or another is bent on destroying the unity of that melting pot by trying to take out the word God or make everything bilingual. I am not a deeply religious person nor do I go to church every Sunday but what is so wrong of having respect for the guy upstairs. Some can argue that religion is the cause of many battle and wars… but really, is it? Or the interpretations of man. As humans we could use any excuse to go to war but truly I believe that God brought more good than evil. Basically for me the word God is part of America's history and that the founding fathers of this country went to great lengths to keep the word God into our life. Please don't let their struggles die in vain. Make peace with the word "God" and move on.

So now the election is approaching and I find myself asking who I would support. I do not define myself as a republican, democrat or libertarian. First of all, hands off for those who want to run for office in today's world. But if you're going to run, be prepared for every part of your life turned up side down and under a microscope. I'm not phased by all these polls, nor do I care for them.. It's simply a talking point for the media and understand it. Like any job applicant the citizens are the employers and who ever seeking the job of the next president man or female better come with a darn good resume.

What I would like to see on his/hers resume is their voting records, what bill they actually passed not just talked about, people skills (the art of persuasion ), have a moral compass, clear examples of their leadership under times of pressure, actually ran a successful business and basically the ability to answer a straight question not make good sounds bites for the evening news. My biggest pet peeve is straight answers. For example if you were to ask a candidate what color is the sky? What do you think he or she would say… everything aside I would support someone who would just simply give a straight answer… blue! and nothing more.